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Dynasty: A Catfight Using Dialogue from Network

Since Bridger and I are satirizing Dynasty, it is high time to bring some dialogue that would best represent the outlandish greatness of the show. This dialogue is loosely from the pilot episode of the TVRO original series, Network.

We'll represent Sammy as Kasey and Fallon as Leah. Holly represents Cristal Flores in the scene.

INT. Carrington Enterprises – Five minutes after the meeting
As Fallon and Sammy walk towards their respective offices, they decide to debate about the decisions to cancel the four shows listed in Blake’s notice.

Suddenly, a pretty slim dark-haired vixen named Cristal, enters the scene, looking seductive, like the cover of Playboy magazine. A funky sounding rock sound plays around the corner as she is walking. 
Fallon: Who is she?
Sammy (shrugs): Beats me.
Cristal stops and turns towards them.



Cristal (giggles): Hi. I’m Cristal. What’s yours?
Sammy: Hi. I’m Sammy, and this is Fallon.
Cristal (mesmerized): So, you are the infamous Fallon Carrington, am I correct?
Fallon (mortified): How do you even know?
Cristal: Well, I’m Blake's new wife and the Chief Operating Officer of Carrington Industries of Atlanta.
Fallon: Hold up, wait a minute. Wasn't I promised that position a month ago?
Sammy: I don’t know.
Fallon (in annoyance): You are no help.
Fallon then angrily turns to Cristal.



Fallon: You know something, Cristal? I've been in this company long before you ever showed up.
Cristal (laughs): Well, if that’s the case, I bet he’s glad he is not dealing with a woman who looks like she'll get into anyone's pants at the drop of a hat.

A catfight ensues. Sammy then attempts to break up the fight.




Sammy (guarding): Hey, that is enough you two! We are in an office building, not Monday Night Raw.
Fallon (in disgust): Get this tramp out of the way. I don’t need to go wild ‘n out when I kick this bitch’s ass.
Cristal: Go ahead! Remember, honey, your father is mine. The COO position is mine. Call me mom.
Fallon: I’m sure he’ll have fun with this pile of dumpster fire who looks like she lives in a street corner. Go ahead, fly on your damn broomstick and see how far you go.
Cristal: I'm not the one who recycles men like I recycle plastic bottles. 
Sammy: Enough, enough, enough. Now, we’ll just have to get going.We don’t need to have any catfights in this office.
Fallon: I promise. 

    Fallon turns to Cristal.

Fallon: Next time, don't try me. And don't let the door hit you on the way out!

Well, that was a Network-style twist on Dynasty. Stay tuned to Dynasty on the CW Wednesday nights at 9:00pm Eastern Time.